gawd nothing to do .. is this what i get after quitting with the job the sucks out of me?.  im not going to give up that thing if i knew that i would enjoy doing it. then here i am 2 months and still finding the right thing for me. little sucks and still im lost.. oh common where the hell are you. ?

i’ve dream for the first time having a boyfriend and guess who’s the man im with?

lol. i dont want to wake up after dreaming of him..

>.<

i once loved a person dearly and i let him go, i keep finding new love for years and i didn’t see him beside me. i even gave him advice to choose a woman who will love him for long. god if i knew i wouldn’t let him go love other woman. i also knew that, that time when he find that woman i love him already, i even go out with them to feel the doubt. for crying out load i loved my best friend. but i know there is a reason behind this sometimes you will meet people who will give you lessons, lessons that you will never do again.

i drew a line. i let go of him as my best friend because i know if i still continue being his best bud i will not only lose him but i will also lose my self for keeping my feelings inside, for not wanting to say anything and keep in my heart. 

where still friends yea we are but its not like before because that friendship has stain on it. because i accidentally feel something aside for being his best friend. enough bitter feelings to make way to see him because when i see him i feel complete. like the old days when i used to call him brother.

i hope one day this feelings will not give him remorse but will give him acceptance.  i didn’t choose to love him because before i knew that i love him i already loved him.

i miss it. being with him..

1year,2years,3years? i don’t know when will this feelings be gone.

i know he deserve to be happy :) 

so i choose to be happy for him even if i know deep inside im hurt.

:””(

there are some things in this world that you wont expect to be part of your life.. change is constant, everything will fall out sometimes, still you miss hanging out with them and laughing like there is no problem in this world. in the end i thank god for giving me friends like them who teach me to be happy, brave, grateful and to be alone.

without them there will be a missing part of this story.

salamat sa payslip na mabigat , at sa mga katrabahong walang kasing kulet at bait. :) masaya akong nakapasa ako pero hindi ko alam kung bakit ako sumuko, naramdaman ko nalang yung pagod at panghihina. :) salamat sa experience.!! :D

sa susunod kong trabaho :) sana magtagal nako,….

someone said that if your not happy you can go. that’s what i felt when i am working for hours and didn’t receive happiness with what i am doing. still struggled by the words of people who’s saying you shouldn’t work there. but i am happy with my colleagues nothing can replace the bonding that i get from them. but i have to live. i have to find the right path w/c i cant feel when i am working.. i hope this decision will be correct and not be one of regrets in life. i am still young. i wish and hope to find what’s the right thing for me.

bless me god. im sorry for giving up. 

feeling ko pag nag ttake ako ng calls ang bobo ko di ko sila masagot ng ayon sa kagustuhan nila, may tumawag pa saking indian LOL, what’s with being an asian. siguro nga dhil hindi ko ma resolve ung issue. nag sisimula palang naman ako kaya mahirap. pero sana makaya ko, tumatatak kasi sa isip ko ung sinasabi nila. nakakabobo nag aral naman ako. haha! ok ginusto ko to eh. sana maging ok din. tiis tiis lahat naman sila dumaan sa ganito bago nag karon ng posisyon and they strive for whatever they have. kaya pala ung mga seniors ko ayaw na mag take ng calls kasi talagang nakakabadtrip>.< ! ok carly pasok ulit patayin ang sarili sa grave yard. :( UNHAPPY